justin ~ perhaps ask yourself a good question:   what are you expecting from yourself that would make you feel more ‘spiritual’? 

another question:  what does it mean to you to be ‘spiritual’?

what would you have to be like to ‘fit in’ with us?  what are you looking at?  what are you expecting from yourself?  what are you expecting from us?  if you are looking to be like others, or them to be like you, you will more often than not,  be very disappointed.  i know you already know this.  i am just reaffirming it with you.  :)

following your reasoning, i know you feel bad because something makes you feel like you don’t belong with us, but we could feel bad too that you don’t think we are whatever it is you think we should be to fit in with you.  you know what i mean?  we have all lived various different kinds of lives here on earth.  we have been influenced and affected by each of our unique to us life experiences …. family, friends, school, work, our own selves, books we read, movies we watch, music we listen to, etc.  it is endless.   there is much to make any of us feel out of place with one another.  differences do that quite easily. 

what do we think ‘fit’ means?   despite our human temporal differences, there is nothing to separate us from HIM Who has become our Life, having made us New in Him … and having joined us together as one New Body, having many members.  i don’t really know what all that means, but i get a ‘sense’ of it from HIS Spirit within me.  i can’t really explain any of it, but … i know the Spirit in me is the same Spirit in you and that is why we are One.  whatever that means, too.  lol  i just know it is not because we may or may not FEEL comfortable with each other the way we communicate or the way we may live our lives, or the way we eat or play or rest or work or … fill in the blank.  

you have encouraged me so many times justin with your fleeting moments here and there of clarity that you share.  i love it!  :)   when it is there, it is there.  clarity is fleeting for me, too.  you are not alone.  there is not a thing wrong with feelings in and of themselves,  but feelings sure can distract us, can’t they?  sighhhh ….. and i don’t blame the feelings, as it is really our thoughts that are the culprits that affect our feelings.  so we can go back to ‘what are we thinking’.

anyway … those are the thoughts stimulated by your post.  if you have any answers to those questions, i would love to hear/read them.  :)

love and hugs      

What you wrote actually affirms the truth of what I said, it does not disprove it.  For once again, the reality of the strife you express towards certain perceptions, even if they be of what I said,  is in fact your salvation. Being in Christ is evidenced by this same strife. Christ is not a man, or a perception of a man, but a world. And that world would never be bound to live in view of the deceiving perceptions that refer to the bodily appearance.

Things like this make me feel as though I’m lacking in the faith which you have.

This is the evidence of having this same faith, not the evidence of its absence.

Hello Justin,

I know you didn’t ask me on this but, directed it to Georgi but, nonetheless I wanted to comment.

As I sit here in great pain over my losing my mother right before planning to go visit with her 2 days ago, I am now faced with things to decide regarding her that I never thought I would need to be facing. Not now at least. I am over come with grief. I go through my day having waves of sorrow. I am seeing that there is something inherent in the mind of the temporary that seeks to blind us from the reality that is freely known in Christ.

Don’t worry though because this too is Christ in you, His own work, His complete salvation from start to finish .

Behind the scenes of the temporary there remains a fixed reality from God that is not understood by the efforts or intelligence of man.[you are coming to rely on this] We have this testimony in us and we watch it’s darkness passing all the time in our experience. But Christ is faithful to remove the clouds and shine forth the knowledge of the Truth that resides in us. When Georgi says “it is not YOU who doubts”-he is saying that the YOU that is the REAL you, the heart, the thing God looks on[not man-he will not] DOES NOT DOUBT in ANY way. Just as Abraham NEVER doubted but was fully assured that God could and would do what He promised. Somehow this reality is what GOD saw of him but, Abraham from all appearances showed nothing of this by some of his deeds.

Man looks on the outward, Christ looks on the heart. YOU are perfect.

I believe that when we recognize that we owe nothing to anyone and visa versa and that we actaully owe nothing to God then we will recognize that forgiveness.

Justin, You sound alot like me. In the past I struggled for many many years about my assurance of salvation….or if I had ever really been saved…perhaps I was not totally humbled and to proud to really trust Jesus. I came to realize (and this website has helped alot) that I was making my salvation about what I did and not just resting in what Jesus did. And resting can be done even in the midst of the battle…and BTW, the battle is real. But like you said, I had no other place to go, since deep down inside God had given me that gift to know The Truth….even though the battle was raging quite often……..FOR DECADES. One of the most endouraging books I’ve read is, “Grace Abounding To The Chief Of Sinners” the autobiography of John Bunyan. He had a horrible struggle for about 17 years….Even after his big breakthrough he recounts that even in the middle of his preaching he would struggle with very condemning thoughts that doubted his salvation. H. A. Ironsides a former pastor at Moody Church in the late 1930’s at one time doubted his salvation so much that he had to be institutionalized at a Christian rest home where he dicovered that just about everybody else there was struggling with similar issues. While there he made the amazing discovery that it really is all about Jesus and his work PERIOD As for me I had a breakthrough where I didn’t struggle at all for many months…complete peace of mind….amazing. But slowly, I began to have doubtful thoughts again, but by God’s grace those thoughst have never been able to dominate my thinking and emotions as they did in the past. When things get tough, I just remember, that it’s not about me……..It’s all about Jesus. I see that as God’s grace.