My 2cents about this:
"However, by belonging to a local church, I come under scrutiny. That is, I place myself under the oversight of elders, who whether I agree with them on all points or not, they keep me 'honest' so to speak, in the sense that they act as a responsible means of bouncing back what I believe and how I behave, enabling me to review things in the light of God's Word and in the light of Christ."
I would say that Jim(aka the shovel) and many that call this site home keep each other "honest" in the same way any local body that calls itself a church does. We share the inherent life of Christ that resides in us with each other encouraging sometimes disagreeing sometimes all out no holds barred cage match fighting but coming back to the core of what Jim said "The one who keeps me honest is the one who is my life " and recognizing that that same life in each of us is doing its work. maybe this is an oversimplification but it states the reason some are able to survive without what the institutional church calls accountability. Jim G. poke around the site and at the shovelshack too and you will find a community of brothers and sisters that looks a lot like what you describe in your comments. I know jim would encourage you to jump in anywhere and share or ask questions.

Jim G., I attended church for years much like you described. I felt a sense of security, a sense in myself opening up to someone who I felt I can trust because I learned to respect them for how they preached or how they approached me with care. So I believe I understand what you are saying. However, after decades of becoming 'buddies' with several pastors in the churches I attended in my life, I found myself shaping my emotions and/or my intellectual prowess to actually get a response that I was somehow seeking. BUT, this is the disturbing part: This shaping of emotions and intellectual/mental ability was NOT something that I consciously planned out or schemed to set-up before I met with my pastor. This wretched natural ability was my nature that I naturally performed as I came to understand and realized as I was meeting with my pastors. It was spontaneous and it was wretched. For example, if in my conversation with a Pastor I sensed I needed him to "feel sorry for me, I felt depressed" then I would find myself being brutally honest about a weakness (internet pornography, lusting, covet things, not spending enough time with m wife or kids, not giving money to those in need or tithe regularly) I had or share how someone took advantage of me, or I was not treated fare at work, or how I gave so much of myself to my family or at the work place. In order to get a sympathy response so I could feel better then I could push those "buttons" so subtly. I was a natural. I came to actually know Christ for the first time in a real way through those pastor meetings. My"learning" was NOT from anything particular the pastor said to me. I was trying to gain acceptance and have a sense of belonging (to fit-in somewhere) and instead I realized the FREEDOM I had in Christ and the reality of Christ in my life. No more pretending. With a different 'twist', I feel like Paul sometimes: In Phillipians 3 Paul describes himself as full of confidence, a "top gun" Pharisee of Pharisees, full of zeal, a leader in the 'church'. Then he states how he counted "all things as rubbish" as he came to truly know Christ. Paul was enlightened beyond his religious roots, beyond his knowledge of the scrolls, and beyond his leadership in a religious organization. He gave it all up and called it 'rubbish'. Why would such a man who had so much authority, respected by his fellow religious leaders, he had great knowledge of scripture, and all his needs of life provided, THEN he gave all that authority and security up?? Why? Paul saw he was a wretch even with all the knowledge, authority, and security he had in his religion. It's amazing. Christ personalized Himself to Paul. Christ did the same for me. I still meet with a pastor but the spirit of our time together is mutual. We laugh together and cry together. He knows me and for the first time I am really getting to know him. We have a great relationship. After many meetings I will jokingly say, "I love my "pastor." :) -cp

Jim G. -Take some time and read the 13+ years of information shared on this web site. It took me a while to understand what Jim M. is saying. Many times I did not return to the theshovel because of frustration. He calls out of you the realization of the Life of Christ that is in you. Be a little more open minded. The love of Jim M. to others goes to the heart of the matter. There is no pretending, no religious system here. The never-ending revelations of the Grace and Freedom we have through Christ are available to us.