When I was in Bible College, I bought into the whole delusion of viewing myself as a split personality. Of course, presenting it in this way might cause some to misperceive what I'm referring to, but this is exactly how I learned to view myself when I accepted the premise that I had 2 natures: an old nature and a new nature. Now don't pass this off as some strange new doctrine concocted by my teachers, for I had already come to see myself struggling in a similar way to the cartoons I use to watch where both a devil version and an angel version of myself hovered around each ear vying for my attention in hopes of winning me over.

You see, I had no problem with the basic reality that I was stubborn and rebellious at heart, for I was taught it from very early on in my life by those who raised me and/or instructed me. This perception did not have to be forced upon me, rather I accepted it because it made sense. I not only recognized my rebellious nature, but I also believed I was a good child, for I had been often praised by my parents and teachers as being a "good boy." It felt good to be considered so.

My Christianized instructions were built upon that same imagination. I had it hammered into me that if I heeded the voice of the devil (that is, my old nature), I would continue to grow weaker in my walk with God, and this would cause those bad decisions to come easier and easier, while at the same time it would drown out the godly decisions. On the other hand, if I were to listen to my new nature — which was consistently presented to me as going to church, reading my Bible, going to Bible studies, hanging with the "right" people, etc — then I (that is, my new nature) would grow stronger and would overpower my old nature. Simply stated, my new nature always told me to do good, while my old nature always told me to do bad ... which meant that the one I listened to would win out.

Here's the thing, though. The whole setup is a delusion of the fleshly mind! And this is what kept me locked into a desperate struggle, for it convinced me that somewhere within this convoluted and contradictory version of the person I imagined myself to be that I actually had the ability to control my sinful desires. This imagined version of myself is the very thing that Paul referred to as the flesh. For despite the wide array of variables found within every society (past or present), this is the perception of the world regarding itself. This is the mind of the flesh that every human has struggled with from the very beginning. I'm telling you that it makes no difference how we might justify our Christian versions with Bible verses and doctrines — we cannot work within the framework of the fleshly mind in order to produce something that glorifies the one who brought us freedom from the imaginations of that mind.

The lie will do everything it can to keep itself alive, but thanks be to our living God who shakes our world to make us see that which is unshakeable! It's in the midst of that shaking that you will discover an unshakeable reality within you that continues to desire God ... and this abiding reality is that which will confirm to you that essence of your true life: Christ.

[This Spoonful was taken from a much longer Shoveletter called The Delusion of Man's Imagination]