I am coming up to my thirtieth year in marriage to my sweetheart. I have learnt that the husband has to take the lead in repairing the damage of any argument or dispute that may from time to time under pressure flare up. It is critical that the husband apologises first and speak the healing words to rebind the precious relationship. It is also critically important for the husband to get on his knees and bring it up before the Lord first. This allows any anger, resentment or hate to drain out as you feel God’s love coming in. With God’s love coming in, you no longer see the resentment but who your beautiful partner really is and how foolish it is to prolong the dispute and confrontation. I usually apologise to my wife first, even if she may be more at fault. The leadership of the husband in approaching first is the key. Most of the time your wife will not also apologise in response, but by her later warm behaviour that apology is evident, even if not said. You will probably find that your partner respects you, because you took the lead, but that is not important. What is important is that the husband takes the love and service attitude. It is NOT capitulating and cringing. It is love leadership. The bible expects men to lead and be the head of the household. At times you will still need to confront your wife or even fight to engrave that leadership position. Todays society via the media, government and the courts, give woman the impression that they should wield the authority and make the important decisions and wear the pants. Women were not designed by God for this on the whole. But the husband does from time to time have to assert his authority, not just to his wife, but to his children. Satan has taken the wife out of the home and away from young children and put them in there competing with men. Women are now in many areas, due to regulations of government, even more favoured in the workplace. This is an agenda by those who govern us to reduce the population and have children come under the control of the state rather than the parents. Men must resist making gods out of women like the media would have us do. Men must resist beauty of body over beauty of spirit. Men should look for women who are not damaged goods (via sexual liberation,lesbianism, womens liberation, television brainwashed thinking that women are the controlled smart ones and men the fools always needing the wife to pull them out of trouble, etc ) Men must have the authority, otherwise if the man takes all the risks, takes most of the falls for his family, is abused by the government, works long hours, defends the family, then does not even get the authority - it is a fools paradise that the man will eventually resent and walk out of when his conscience or sub-conscience eventually wakes up. The real cause of many divorces led by the man. Pete