Christian music: When You Look in my Eye

When You Look in My Eye
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Would I deny that I ever knew you? Could I stand by hearing others mock your name?
Would I not try, instead of doing nothing -- when you look in my eye I know that I was just the same

Speaking out so bravely, I had made a strong defense - all might leave, but not me -- I would hold out till the end
Gentle words sting deeply, "You, too, will turn against" Don't I see as clearly as I'd like to pretend?

I said I'd never leave you, I said I'd never go -- my words come back so empty, I'm not sure what I know

Sitting by the fire, I feel the cold gnow at my bones -- having no desire, but to be unknown
Short way from the courtyard, I see you stand alone -- Careless words leave me scarred, the words are my own

I said I'd never leave you, I said I'd never go -- my words come back so empty, I'm not sure what I know

Had it been another time, had it been another place
But I saw it'd be no different when I looked into your face

Would I deny that I ever knew you? Could I stand by hearing others mock your name?
Would I not try, instead of doing nothing? -- When you look in my eye I know that I was just the same

I've looked and I have seen the eyes of grace and mercy pierce my soul. What have I done? What have I done?
Knowing that you still love me in spite of what I've done I can never view myself the same again!

[Note: It should be obvious that the lyrics are based upon Peter's denial of Jesus ... but in case you're thinking this song suggests a state of constant introspection on our part, please think again ... for I had nothing of the sort in mind!! For me, Peter's harsh realization became my own as I struggled with the reality that I had denied Christ in so many ways all through my "Christian" experience! The very idea that I would EVER "deny" Jesus was an assault to all my claims - just like Peter. But this very realization is the wonder upon which true "grace" rests, for all is NOT found in me, but in HIM. After all my own claims and dedications and promises fail I am left with nothing but CHRIST. For if HIS life in me is not effective to perform ALL that God has desired then I am hopelessly lost.

So, if you are desperately hanging on to your ideals of "Christianity" and "Christian life and service" you may be right on the brink of discovering that Jesus was never counting on your own power, abilities, promises, dedications and/or will power in the first place! I only ask you to consider that when Jesus told Peter and the others that they would ALL forsake him that he was NOT scolding them. Your attempts to "prove" your love and faithfulness to God are all doomed to failure, just as was Peter's bold claim that he would never deny him. Hey, as you witness your own faithfulness crumble despite your best attempts ... know that HIS faithfulness is what he wants you to realize.]