Justin, thanks for responding so quickly.  I am so glad to hear that reading Colossians has cleared up many of the confusing things of the past for you.  There is nothing like Scripture for doing that.  There were a couple of things that jumped out at me in your response.   You said that you think in terms of symbols and symbology and that confuses other people, I think it confuses you too.  Christ never spoke to us in symbols and symbology, sometimes in parables, but He always explained what He meant to his disciples and to us, He was never unclear.  Religion, law, and pseudo-religion always are deceptive and confusing.  You also said you went on an occult-kick and that it has remained with you, don't you know that along with this new life we have been given also comes a renewed mind, the very mind of Christ?  So where is the reality in saying that it still remains with you?   The old is gone and the new has come.  Our life is now one of simplicity, rest, and dependence on Christ who is Life in us. Keep looking at the One who is simplicity, and loves you beyond measure. Hugs,  Char